While the wages of sin might be death, the wages of sin marketing are huge profit centers for agencies and media outlets. From cigarettes to chocolates, selling things to the public that are bad for them offers an interesting moral dilemma and a chance to do some powerful advertising. Let's take a look at the Sinful Products bracket, being played… where else… Sin City, Las Vegas, NV.

1) The Marlboro Man
vs.
8) Keep American Beautiful (pollution)

Cowboys and Indians in the first round… how great is that? The Marlboro Man has been around since the 50s, when the brand was re-launched as a filtered alternative for men. (It had previously been targeted to women.) Originally the campaign revolved around many different rugged individuals doing manly things, including car repair, hunting and fishing.
After a brief switch to a more gentile treatment in the early 60s, Marlboro settled on the Cowboy motif and garnered some credibility by using real cowboys in their advertising instead of models. The campaign is still going strong today. And who can forget the crying Indian of the Keep America Beautiful campaign to fight pollution? As the stoic face of the noble Native American turned to the camera and shed a single tear, the nation felt it's collective guilt swell. Ironically, K.A.B. didn't follow Marlboro's example of authenticity, as it was revealed in the mid-90s that the star of the spot, Iron Eyes Cody, was in fact Sicilian and not native American.

Winner: History repeats itself and the Indians lose again, this time without the smallpox-infected blankets.

4) Absolut Bottle

vs.
5) M&Ms melt in your mouth, not in your hands

Talk about a concept with legs. The Absolut "Bottle" campaign has been a successful and much-loved campaign since its inception in the early 80s. With over 1,500 ads in the series, it has been the subject of books and museum shows. With a series of "statehood" ads and the commission of famous artists and designers to offer their take on the iconic bottle, the breadth of this campaign is staggering. M&Ms have long based their various campaigns around a central theme: a chocolate candy you can eat without making a mess.
The line "melts in your mouth, not in your hands," set the perfect tone for parents everywhere who are tired of sticky messes.

Winner: Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker. Absolut in a romp.

3) Miller Lite Taste Great- Less Filling
vs.
6) Budweiser "this Bud's for you"

A true clash of titans, the giants of America beer face off. For Miller Lite, you have the "Taste Great. Less Filling" spots of the 1980s. With sports and pop culture stars espousing the virtues of Miller's entry in the light beer category, it made the product look like the beer you wanted to be holding when you sports hero walked into the bar, whether it was Billy Martin or John Madden. Comic relief often came in the form of the loveable loser, former major league catcher and Brewers play-by-play man Bob Uecker. For Bud, the angle was simple…"You work hard and you deserve an ice cold beer. Let me get that for you." While Bud has changed its campaigns frequently, the tag still shows up, often paired with the famous Budweiser Clydesdale Team.

Winner: Miller Lite. But I'd rather drink a Guinness.

2) Winston Tastes Good Like a Cigarette Should or Version 2
vs.
7) Lucky Strike - Reach for a Lucky Instead of a Sweet

It's time now for two of the most shameful ad campaigns of all time. I do love a catchy jingle and Winston has one of the best of all time. And ethics be damned, let's get these cigarettes plugged on the biggest show on TV, even if it is a cartoon aimed at children.
As for Lucky Strike, "Reach for a Lucky Instead of a Sweet" was a hugely successful campaign in the 1920s, responsible for a 200% increase in market share. Playing on people's vanity is always a good angle, but "smoke so you don't get fat" just feels wrong.

Winner: It's like picking Duke in my NCAA pool. Winston is the winner, but I don't feel good about it.

Tomorrow: Our last region, Consumer Products.

There truly has never been a better time to be in this business.

After what seems like years of anxious waiting, our Agency is in the midst of a remarkable transformation in what will soon seem to have occurred “in the blink of an eye.” At last, the components of change--so long on the distant horizon--are within the grasp of day-to-day marketers.

You know all the buzz words: Web 2.0, Social Networks, Blogs, Podcasts, Mobile Advertising, RSS. Funny, “interactive,” “digital,” and “internet” are becoming “old school” terms in the same manner as “electronic,” “transistor,” and “solid-state” did a couple of decades ago.

The casual observer could be excused for wondering what this means for the continued viability of this business of advertising and marketing. “Surely ‘the ad biz’ will shortly fade into the sunset, as with blacksmiths and buggy-whip manufacturers of the 1900’s.”

I remember being amused by a “brand consultant” who said to me with feigned sincerity, “You must be really scared about the future for your business.” It was the early ’90’s and desktop publishing (remember THAT term?) was coming into its own and, “why, with all the fonts and clip art and stuff,” surely we’d be on the ash-heap in no time.

“Now anyone can do it,” she said.

I was wittier in those days, and without a pause I reminded her that “The pencil has existed for thousands of years, right.” She agreed. I grinned.

“Has that made everyone an artist? Or a writer?”

Of course it didn’t. Likewise, new and exciting communication channels will never lessen the need for ideas regarding effective consumer contact and persuasion.

In fact, my bet is the opportunities will be multiplied. Because “when the stone is carved, the ink is dry, the transmission is complete, or the file is downloaded”--in short no matter the delivery method--the IDEA is what will matter most.

Two great descriptions of this business will endure all methods of content delivery. The first, from Fairfax Cone (look him up on Wiki, for goodness sakes!): “Advertising is what you do when you can’t go see somebody. It’s as simple as that.”

The second is from John E. Kennedy (not a typo) and adopted by Albert Lasker: “Advertising is Salemanship in Print.”

Okay, the “print” part IS a bit dated...but you get the point.

Today's Ad Madness Transportation Region match-ups are coming to you from Motor City USA, beautiful downtown Detroit! Seriously, I hear parts of Detroit aren't so bad.

1) Volkswagen "Think Small" or This One
vs.
8) Greyhound "Leave the driving to us."

In the age of the tail fins and rampant consumerism, the iconic Doyle Dane Bernbach print campaign to introduce the VW Bug made it possible to buy a small car and be happy about it. It embraced what was seen as a negative and, with a clever, self-deprecating soft sell, spun it all into a big positive. In doing so, it not only created a counter-culture icon, but changed the face of advertising. On the other side of the fence, the folks at Greyhound managed to make an 18 hour bus ride from Cincinnati to Birmingham, surrounded by a who's who of mental illness seem like a good idea.

Winner: Volkswagon in a walk.

4) Fed Ex "Fast Talker"
vs.
5) Avis "We Try Harder"

These days we take overnight delivery for granted, but half of our staff at CurrentMarketing remembers when overnight delivery meant getting in your car and driving a package where it needed to go. (The other half of our staff doesn't remember life without Cable TV, but we tolerate them, even if they don't know the difference between Green Day and Morris Day.) In 1982, affordable overnight delivery was a fairly new concept and using motor mouth John Moschitta to communicate the speedy nature of the service was a stroke of genius. Avis faced a different challenge. For most people, being second isn't a selling point. It is something you don't even admit behind closed doors. For Avis, it was a legitimate reason for a consumer to give them a shot: "We're #2. We try harder." Brave…and successful.

Winner: Avis by a nose.

3) Isuzu "Joe Isuzu"
vs.
6) Saturn "A Different Kind of Company. A Different Kind of Car"

This is a battle of diametrically opposed forces. On one hand, you have Joe Isuzu, the stereotypical car salesman...making outlandish claims to sell a car. With counterpoint subtitles to tell the real story and reinforce the positive attributes of the automobiles, they made for funny, clever spots and made a second tier carmaker memorable. With Saturn, you had just the opposite. A car company that wasn't looking to "take you for a ride."
With no haggle dealerships and a warm and fuzzy connection with its customers that included annual owner reunions at their plant in Spring Hill TN, Saturn set themselves apart not with claims of a superior product, but with a superior relationship.

Winner: Isuzu. You have my word on it.

2) Chevrolet "See the USA in your Chevrolet"
vs.
7) American Tourister, "The Gorilla"

OK, so putting an ad for luggage in the transportations division is a bit of a stretch, but we couldn't have a list without a monkey ad, and this one is a classic. Watching a gorilla "go ape" on a suitcase was funny as a kid and it is funny now. On the other hand, you have Dinah Shore espousing all that is great with America. Less than a decade removed World War 2 and with the Interstate system just a few years away, America was ready to hit the road and Chevy gave them the push they needed. Car companies continue to go to the patriotic well, from "Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet" to "This is our country," but this campaign did it best.

Winner: Chevrolet. They just don't write jingles like that anymore.

Monday: smoke 'em if you got 'em. It's time for the Vice Region. Everything from cigarettes to chocolate. Stay tuned.

The newest social networking site has premiered - ncludr.com!

I already have profiles on so many of these type of sites, but this is one more I will add. How can I resist a marketing pitch that claims that the site is "the most awesomest ultimate social network ever?"

I love the capabilities the site touts:
"Upload photos or publish notes, get the latest news from your friends, post videos on your profile, tag your friends, use privacy settings to control who sees your info -- NOT WITH nclüdr!"

As if all of that wasn't enough, the home page features testimonials from PeeWee Herman and Mr. Wizard (apparently raised from the dead). I drilled down to sign up and whose testimonials should I see, but Rudy Giuliani and Mr. T!?! Can you think of any other website that features both America's Mayor AND Bad Attitude Baracus?!? AND a tile ad for a company that will help me lower my funeral costs? I can't think of even one.

As you probably assumed, I just had to click on the FAQ page...and, boy am glad I did! I stumbled upon an ad for a Virus Detection software that promises a Premium Gouda Cheese Wheel! WOW! These guys are already generating "revenue" through advertising on the site, which is not really hard to understand since everyone in the world has already signed up!

Speaking of, the sign up was a snap using ncludr's Personal Profile Generator V2.01. It was only 3 questions long and quickly told me who I am. Facebook has never once given me this level of self-discovery. Right off the bat, I had 12.3 billion friends! I only have about 30 on Facebook!

Check it out - you won't be sorry! ncludr.com

Turns out last weekend wasn't so much about hiding eggs. Well, at least not Easter eggs. It came out of nowhere. I jumped in the car thinking it was a workday. Instead, we drove in another direction and they thought I'd never notice. I noticed. I knew we were going to the V-E-T. What I didn't know was that my dreams of running away with the lab next door would come to a stop. No puppies for me. They dragged me inside. I yelled. A needle hit me and I blacked out. Before I knew it, I was awake. And my voice had lowered.

You'd think if the V-E-T could play God with my organs he could arrange vacation time. Nope. I was back at work on Monday, no problem. Women miss weeks when they have a baby. I lose the opportunity to have one of those and I don't even get a day. But I'm not bitter. I'd forget all about it for a hot dog...ball? Did somebody just say ball? Oh my gosh, seriously, I know I heard it...

Hi. My name is Jim and I'm addicted to March Madness. There… I said it and I've taken the first step to recovery. For 3 weeks every spring, I have a lot of trouble thinking about anything else. I'm not proud of it and my wife's not happy about it.

So in keeping with the theme, I've put together an Ad Madness tournament, pitting 32 of the best ad campaigns of all time. Over the next 4 days, I'll break down each region's matchups and pick a winner. Next Friday, I'll narrow things down and pick a winner for the tournament.

Like Jimmy V used to say, "This tournament is about one thing: survive and advance." I've tried to limit entries to one campaign per product. (You could to a whole tournament with just Coca-Cola campaigns.) Just like in the tournament, with a limited number of spots, your favorite ad might not make the big dance. Feel like I've made an unforgivable omission? Did I give your favorite ad the shaft? Want to just lash out while hiding behind the anonymity of cyber space? Drop me a line and tell me all about it at jimdoesntcarewhatyouthink@yahoo.com.

So with that, let's take a look at the first round matchups in the Food & Drink Region, being played in Des Plaines, Illinois, home of Ray Kroc's first McDonald's Franchise:

1) McDonald's "You Deserve a Break Today"
vs.
8) Burger King "Have it Your Way"

McDonald's is the 800lb gorilla in this tournament. Over the years, they have created an entire world of advertising characters led by the redheaded harbinger of high cholesterol himself, Ronald McDonald. They have one of the most recognizable icons in advertising, the golden arches. Their campaigns consistently have smart copy and catchy jingles. (I can still tell you how to make a Big Mac, and that jingle hasn't run in years.) On the other hand, Burger King comes into the tournament with a recent history of scattered campaigns, none of which seemed to gain any traction. (Hootie in a cowboy outfit anyone?) But in the 70's they had a rock-solid campaign with a solid point of differentiation, that they would make your burger the way you wanted it.

Winner: McDonalds in a rout.

4) Coca-Cola "Have a Coke and a Smile"
vs.
5) Maxwell House "Good to the Last Drop"

Mean Joe Greene faces off against The Wicked Witch of the West in this huge first round match up. The Joe Greene spot is a perennial favorite on top ad lists. It not only makes use of a huge sports icon of the time, but gets beyond the pigeonhole of sports marketing with a warm and fuzzy end that makes non-sports fans say "awwwww." On the other side, we have an ad that you just couldn't make today. Ten seconds in, the husband takes a cheap shot at his wife's coffee, in public no less. The pained look on the wife's face is so sad you have to laugh to keep from crying. (And you can almost here her thinking "You think it tastes bad now, wait until I add antifreeze to your mug tomorrow, you bastard!) Fortunately a 500-year-old Margaret Hamilton comes to the rescue with a cup of Maxwell House that makes everything better. And isn't that how every ad should work?

Winner: Coca-Cola in a nail-biter.

3) Wendys' "Where's the Beef?"
vs.
6) Life Cereal "Hey Mikey"

Wendy's had the catchphrase that was on everyone's lips and this ad made them a force in the burger wars. As much as I love a commercial featuring a pair of kids with speech impediments (something think you couldn't get past a focus group these days), not even Mikey liked his chances here.

Winner: Wendy's

2) Pepsi 'Pepsi Cola Hits the Spot"
vs
7) California Milk Processor Board "Got Milk?"

This is one of the best jingles in advertising history. (Pepsi-Cola hits the spot Twelve full ounces, that's a lot Twice as much for a nickle, too Pepsi-Cola is the drink for you.) Pepsi takes a 2 seed in the tournament, but they get matched up against the minimalist genius of the milk moustache and the and the 2 word poetry of "Got Milk." Bottom like: The ubiquitous milk campaign has perfected the celebrity endorsement and anyone who remembers the Pepsi jingle is in their late 60s and probably doesn't read many blogs, so…

Winner: Got Milk?

Tomorrow – The Transportation Region

A consummate ad man, Hal Riney died Monday. If you've been in this business more than a few months, certainly you've at least heard his name.

He was a visionary leader and innovator in our business.

I was a neophyte copywriter when I first heard of Hal Riney. He and his Tuesday Team put together the 1984 "It's Morning Again in America" campaign for Ronald Reagan's re-election. That was the campaign that made me fall in love with this business. I had worked a couple of years for in local politics for now-senator Mitch McConnell and there's a magical convergence of energy when you combine politics and advertising. So I was sucked in my Riney's (yes, he did the v/o) calming, almost grandfatherly voice broadcast over soft, gauzed images of a fresh dawn in America. Regardless of your political leaning, this campaign was arresting. It was compelling. It was perfection.

Other folks may know Riney for the true breakthrough of his Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers campaign. Frank was generally the spokesman while Ed, who seldom spoke but provided great sight gags, lovingly displayed the product. Frank ended each spot the only fitting way I could end this all-too-short tribute to Hal Riney, "thank you for your support."

Graphic designers and brand experts have long preached logo consistency. We do here, too. But when you can build brand awareness and equity, why not try something new?

Many brands today apply a temporary, sometimes seasonal, design element to add life and energy to their logos, and even create buzz about their brand. Google, for example, recognizes every holiday and season with logo garnish they call “doodles” on its homepage. Yahoo, The Gap, Wild Apricot and Target also seasonalize their logos all year long.

Recently, we gave Kentucky Derby Festival’s logo a seasonal look to incorporate the creative theme for this year’s Festival, A World of Fun.

When the international theme was developed for the 2008 Festival, it seemed natural to bring that feel to the corporate mark. The sphere that normally holds the Golden Pegasus became the perfect area to integrate the globe shape. The latitude and longitude lines helped add depth and define this shape. The color modification to blue and gold helped set the complete mark apart.

The industry buzz is that this technique can infuse new energy into a corporate logo, increase website traffic and build overall awareness of your brand.

I cannot wait to see what Google has to offer for Major League Baseball’s opening day what Derby Festival may have to offer in 2009.

Until then.

I hate this phrase. And now that I have pointed it out, you'll probably begin to notice how many folks use it. What bothers me about "no problem" is that it insinuates that whatever we were discussing WAS A PROBLEM. Let's say I am at a restaurant and the server refills my water glass -- I politely say "thank you." The response from the server is more often than not, "no problem." So does that mean it WAS A PROBLEM but they have taken care of it, so now it is not? If you're a server, it is part of your job to keep my water glass filled, so it better not be a problem. The proper response in that scenario is, "MY PLEASURE!" or "YOU'RE WELCOME." Saying "NO PROBLEM" sounds like the person is some sort of miracle worker and they made the nagging situation disappear. Makes me want to ask, "Who made you God and the master of making problems vaporize?" It contains a hint of superiority that I resent. And every time I hear it, I want to ask, "if there actually was a problem, because for some reason you just told me you solved it."

There are so many ways to answer a person when they show appreciation. Phrases like, "my pleasure, happy to help, you're welcome, you bet or anytime” (although that word gets a little vague for me) can easily replace "NO PROBLEM."

The guy shares my sentiment completely…about half way into his sermon.
http://www.chapel.duke.edu/worship/sunday/viewsermon.aspx?id=29

To make matters worse, there is a TTY Abbreviation for "NO PROBLEM" (NP). Luckily, THX (Thanks) and TY (Thank You) are also on the list so I don't have to settle for NP. I don't see one for "My Pleasure" but maybe that would be conveyed with symbols or XXX's?

The unadorned "Thanks" is another pet peeve of mine. Do you end all of your emails with this? I think people do it without thinking. When I see it I wonder what they are thanking me for. It has become a routine ending for many emails I receive. And yes, I did it myself, for a while, until I realized it had become a habit.

And while I'm on a roll, have you ever known someone who says they are "sorry" all the time? They immediately take the blame or accept responsibility when in fact it may not be necessary. It almost feels like a deflection so the "rant" won't continue. Or maybe their self-esteem is in bad shape and they're into self-punishment? Women tend to say "sorry" more than men. I think sometimes we feel intimidated into taking the blame and it's easier than standing up. "I'm sorry" should be used to show compassion or followed with asking forgiveness for something you really feel bad about.

Bottom line, think about what comes out of your mouth. And if Luke calls me "dude" one more time I am going to cover his workspace with post it notes when he's not around.

So the other day a friend asked me how often I purchased online. Being at the upper end of the 18-49 demo, I thought it a probing question into my late-Boomer level of web savvy. I just so happened that I'd purchased - just day earlier -- a handful of flies for an up-coming trip to Kentucky's Cumberland River (don't tell anyone but IMHO it's the sweetest little trout stream east of the Mississippi). Less than ten minutes on Orvis.com, I found myself a nice assortment of Woolly Buggers - they KILL in the swift water that's rare on the Cumberland right now - and some Bead Head Nymphs for backup. I even had time to pick up a new fly line and shop the Outlet and Sale Tent. (I'd have closet full
of Orvis apparel if I didn't have two wonderful daughters in private schools, but that's another blog).

So my line and my flies will be here later this week, and I'll be as prepared as I can be to stalk the wily Brown Trout. Now I'm feeling guilty that I patronized a business hundreds of miles away, when there's a new fly-fishing shop just a 10-minute drive from my home or office. It's the same feeling I get in my gut when I walk into the bookstore up the street to buy a Sunday New York Times, but order my books from Amazon. It's a local/global balance I'm often looking to strike. Well, I'll get over to the new fly shop before the spring is out. Maybe I'll even pitch that entrepreneurial fly fisherman on an ecommerce site for his shop.

Imagine how many Woolly Buggers I could get on trade