Part I

Say what you want about the mental capacities of our current president, Dub-ya never showed up on WWE.

I can't believe the three remaining candidates -- or their handers -- agreed to this! Honestly, I sat at my computer trying to discern if these were just really good lookalikes, because no candidate can hold the Office in appropriate esteem and do this!!! Play the sax on Arsenio Hall, but please don't denigrate the position of Leader of the Free World by endorsing professional rasslin'.

As a matter of fact, Mr. Obama, I do "smell what Barack is cooking," and it stinks. Badly.

You three are making Ralph Nader look serious!

As a voter, I'm insulted.

Part II

Billy Ray, have you lost your achy-breaky mind???? What part of "let your teenage daughter pose nude" could even start to sound like a good idea? Forget the fact that Disney has pumped millions of dollars into the Hannah Montana franchise to make her more famous and successful that you could have dreamed for your one-hit self. You're supposed to protect her! It's fathers like you who give Flatwoods and the rest of this great Commonwealth a bad name.

As a Kentuckian (and a proud member of the Honorable Order of Kentucky Colonels), I am appalled. As a father, I'm insulted.

I'm going to try and have a good Derby anyway. Ten dollars across the board on Big Brown, please....

I’m antsy so I turn my divided attention to trusty Google. I vaguely remember telling myself earlier that I have to check out this Twitter of which everyone speaks so highly. I was on a search engine kick and instead of going to this unknown site, decided to see if Twitter came up when I searched “social networks”. Truly, this was the test to see if I should trudge on. Google gets back to me fast with some answers…

“Wikipedia, Wikipedia, Top 10 Most Beautiful Social Networks, Social Netw…Wait what?!? Top 10 Most Beautiful Social Networks?!?”

I quickly stumble back up the page to read this absurd title again and to further feed my curiosity - I click…

As if it’s not bad enough that in every gossip magazine, on every entertainment show and every red carpet, there’s a list of beautiful people just waiting to hear how beautiful they are now; we are passing this beauty judgment onto social networking sites? Oddly enough, I can pass up those beautiful people and their Photoshopped faces but beautiful social networks? I had to see for myself.
Everyone has an opinion and reason about their loyalties to various social networking sites. Strange as it seems, our reasons for having biases are often the same. “It’s neat, clean and easy to use.” The criterion for making the Mashable list has to do exactly with that! And guess what folks, although mentioned, Twitter didn’t make the cut.

I am still skeptical. So for the next few days I’ll be challenging this list by joining networks and scoping out the beauties for myself. After all, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and I am not taking another’s answer as my own. I’ll get back to you on this one…

I'm baaaaaaack!

Miss me? Miss me? Huh? Huh?

What's on the floor?

It's cool & slippery. A slip & slide?

For me? For me?

Ooooops! I watered it.

Y not?

Y banner.

Uh-oh. My bad. Mom's mad.

It looked like grass.

The kid was cute & splashing

Y not?

AdAge released its annual BrandZ ranking and atop once again is Google. Shocker. Google is like an oil tycoon, except it doesn't gouge us with exorbitant search prices and then report record earnings. Not that I don't love Google because it is all things to all people. It's every bit as important to me as gas is to my car.

Apple is ranked 7th, but the real kicker is that their brand value changed 123% since the 2007 survey - in just one year. As an Apple devotee, I can imagine that this is attributable to myriad developments. But, realistically, it's probably all about the iPhone, right?

BlackBerry's brand value also grew by a whopping 390%. I wonder if this had more to do with the iPhone's popularity contributing to the overall appeal for smart phones or the Pearl with its anti-gadget sensibility or the emergence of BlackBerry from the patent infringement stain that has plagued them for a few years now.

One of the most interesting things about this list is that the vast majority of brands on the list still produce tangible products (GE, Microsoft, Coca-Cola, China Mobile, IBM, McDonalds)...but, I bet if we uncovered the methodology behind the rankings, we would see that a strong influence on each brand's score is a rapidly growing interactive marketing component.

I decided a long time ago that if I were ever in charge of a group of people, I would not treat them the way that many of my bosses treated me. The early days of my career as a graphic artist were spent chained to an art table cranking out production work-as fast as my fingers could cut and paste it together. My bosses were notorious for over promising delivery dates so they could get the project. "Sure, we can have that four-color brochure for you by week's end" and it was Monday and it had to be designed, written, type spec'd and pasted together. Then proofed and corrections made before it could go to a printer. It made for some very long days and even longer nights. I would go home at 11pm and be back at 7am, pizza for lunch and dinner and no exercise or life outside of my job. I was lucky to have a 2-day weekend. And I was rarely thanked or told that I was doing a good job. The 2am press approvals didn't buy me any "trade" time either. I was expected to suck it up and come in no matter how long I had worked the day and night before. It resembled what it must have felt like to work in a sweat factory, without the heat.

Today, I get to care for the creative team here at Current and I know the time I make to say "thank you" and "great work" goes a long way. You see in the ad business, people tend to move from shop to shop. They often live in a combative environment and get fed up and move on. There's an enormous cost associated with turnover and as a business owner it is much easier to retain a great employee than train a new one. And each creative is assigned a book of business so they gather and retain quite a bit of knowledge for the clients and industries they work on. It takes a long time to get a newbie up to speed and producing work that's on target and consistent with the brand strategy.

And it's more than just expressing our appreciation. We have company lunches a few times per month, we play volleyball together, we have fun employee meetings where we play games and openly share our operating numbers so that everyone in our company knows how we are doing. We send people to seminars and classes, we pay for them to be members of clubs and networks. We participate in several Kentucky Derby Festival events like the Run for the Rosé and The Bed Races. We have "partner days" every summer where everyone is given every other Friday off so they can enjoy some 3-day weekends with their friends and families. We have fabulous prizes at our kickass Christmas party each year. We play hard-- when time allows -- because we work hard.

And how do we manage all of this and have fun too? We have a full-time traffic person and the best ad agency software system, CurrentTrack, that allows us to plan our work so people can go home at a decent hour every night and have a life balance that keeps them and their families very happy.

And when you have happy, healthy employees, the work they produce is better.

AdAge released its Power 150 Top Media and Marketing Blogs (well, it actually lists 608 blogs). Atop the list is Seth's Blog. I have to admit that I read Seth's blog religiously, which I'm sure made a HUGE impact on the rankings (please read sarcasm there).

But, this begat my own list of Top Media and Marketing Sites. Okay, it's not 608, or even 150. It's 5. And, it's not just blogs - it's websites in general. That expansion of variables to the entire web and the contraction of total number to only 5 sites makes these 5 so much stronger, IMHO.

I already told you about Seth's Blog, so I won't mention that one again.

So, here are the Media Darling 5:

1. Duct Tape Marketing Blog
Great mix of marketing and other topics - truly the way an agency should approach its clients, from a holistic point of understanding every aspect of the business. Plus, I just love duct tape. My dad and I were just discussing the virtues of duct tape last weekend. This blog is just as versatile and reliable.

2. ePodunk
Okay, so some of the data provided is a little suspect, but I can still get a pretty good body of knowledge about any market on the face of US soil.

3. TVTattle
I am a self-proclaimed and proud TV junkie. From birth. Can't get enough. Dual tuner DVR, expanded channel package, recording two shows at once and watching a third on the other TV. Someone I respect tremendously once said, "We need to get you a life." Although I still respect him, I'd like to see him take me on in a frantic game of Trivial Pursuit TV Edition. That'd be a hot whooping!
At any rate, TVTattle has become one of my best world wide buddies.

4. YouTube
That's right, I said YouTube. One of the best psychographic research mechanisms out there. Want to know what the kids think is entertaining these days? YouTube. Want to see the latest TV campaign by Budweiser? YouTube. Recently, I wanted to see what I could find out about various insurance companies' policies on flood insurance were (don't ask). YouTube.

5. Google Analytics
Hands down the most comprehensive of free solutions for analyzing various elements of web traffic. In fact, there are many PAID services that don't compare to what Google can offer. Sometimes I just daydream that Google is my cool, hip aunt who sweeps into town, buys me inappropriate clothes, lets me get my hair cut  into a Flock of Seagulls and takes me to see Roadhouse when my mom already said I couldn't see it.

So, next year, don't worry about making the AdAge Power 150. Try to make it into the elite Media Darling 5!

I'm in a haze as I sit down in Colleen Doyle's office. The weather outside is beautiful, but pollen or something in the air is clouding my ability to hold a thought for more than a few moments. Colleen is very gracious as I ramble on, and we talk a bit about our backgrounds. Suddenly, I realize who she is. She is my doppelganger; we have both lived in Dallas, we have both lived on the west coast, we both have brown hair.

Colleen: We're both totally awesome! (laughs)
CM: (laughs) Yeah.

Colleen: OK, I got to go soon, so...
CM: Yeah, OK. First question: What is your favorite website?
Colleen: I don't know...I mean I got rid of my computer. It was a crappy computer, so I got rid of it and I haven't gotten another one. It's been really nice. I mostly listen to records now.

CM: Really?
Colleen: Yeah, it's been nice. Hmm... I'd probably say allmusic.com. You can get info on artists and albums.

CM: Did your old computer die?
Colleen: No it was just really crappy. I got all my information off of it, but never got another one. It's in the trunk of my car (laughs). I'm probably going to get a laptop, but I just haven't done it yet. But allmusic.com, it's great if you want information on a band.

CM: OK, left, bottom or side? What's your favorite dock location?
Colleen: Dock location? As in boats?? (laughs incredulously).

CM: (laughing) No. You know, the dock. On your computer. Where your applications are?
Colleen: Oh (laughs). Uh, the bottom? I mean, I'd be happy to have access to a dock! (laughs) Yeah, the bottom. it's what I've always known.

CM: (still laughing) Ok. Ok. What dock icon do you click on the most?
Colleen: The Dashboard. God, I hope I don't sound stupid!

CM: No, no. I'm not being very clear. Wait, did you say the Dashboard?
Colleen: Yeah. I use the calculator, check the time, date, the temperature...

CM: Oh. What about CurrentTrack?
Colleen: Oh, I'm in the system all the time. And email.

CM: OK. Do you have a profile on Myspace, Facebook, Plaxo, etc.?
Colleen: MySpace and Facebook.

CM: Which do you use the most?
Colleen: MySpace. for the 'What's going on this weekend' aspect.

CM: What do you think about Facebook?
Colleen: I like it. It's a little more grown up. I have a foot in each camp. I have friends that are like "Hey, I have $10, let's go to Cahoots,"  and I have friends that are like "Hey, let's go to Jack Fry's."

CM: OK. Here's the last question. What's your problem?
Colleen: (laughs) Ha! Oh God...what's my problem!? Let's see... gotta think... my problem is with people who are not in touch with reality.

CM: NOT in touch?
Colleen: Yeah, you know, the ones who walk around like...zombies. The zombie nation, not present, in the moment? Not aware of what they do with their time? I just try to be present.

CM: Oh yeah, I hear you loud and clear. Let me tell you another boring story...

My doppelganger gently shoos me out of her office. Our recorded conversation is short, but the actual conversation has taken much longer. She is remarkably present and prepares to finish her day here, as I trudge back into the haze of another clear and beautiful spring day.

I know it's total self-promotion, but we are so enormously proud of our work with the Kentucky Derby Festival that I have to get in a plug for Velocity's coverage of our esteemed Allison Gibson, the Queen of all things KDF!

She and her husband are the top 2 Derby Heroes under 40 in this week's edition of the pub - way to go, Matt and Allison!

As you can tell from Alli's blog entry last week, our shop gets pretty consumed with wrapping up all of the ins and outs of marketing KDF so that Kentuckiana can party hardy before Derby! So, to have our company and one of our shining stars recognized like this is fantastic!

…or maybe Bourbon.

Absolut’s debacle of last week brought me to one of those “who the hell thought that was a good idea?” moments. It’s one thing to slam the competition, but to insult half the population of your #1 market? A five million case market? Wow. Is that some sort of new marketing chutzpah they’re teaching in business school these days?

So now that the leading premium vodka in the U.S. is going to take some hits, I’d like to recommend a couple of very nice options to the soon to be former vodka drinkers…

Have you tried a nice German Riesling? My favorites* are the full line of Rieslings from Schmitt Sohne and Schloss Vollrads. Not the overly sweet taste people often think of when they hear “Riesling,” but a range of fruits and florals, plus well-balanced minerality and acidity that allow them to pair well with just about anything but steak. I recommend them often. Yes, I do love my reds. At this moment I’m particularly fond of Pinot Noirs, blended reds and bargain hunting at Trader Joe’s. If you’re in the neighborhood (my neighborhood, not Trader Joe's), please feel free to stop by for a sample. I usually have a few Rieslings chilled (and often open!).

My all-American choice is Bourbon. Specifically, Kentucky Bourbon . We make a good number of those around these parts. My favorite is Maker’s Mark, but by late father swore by W.L. Weller (which has become impossible to find since my dad’s passing….hmmmmm). Again, I’m free with my samples if you’re in my ‘hood. (For a really special treat, ask me about the George T. Stagg hundred-and-oh-my-god proof Bourbon that was a gift from one of my favorite clients.)

So that’s it for the unabashed plugs in this revolting turn on vodka. I do drink them all and can offer tasting notes or pairing suggestions upon request. And I do share willingly with friends.

Revolt responsibly.

*Yes, Schmitt Sohne and Schloss Vollrads are clients of CurrentMarketing. And they make fine wines worthy of my hard-earned dollars.

We have a unique culture at CurrentMarketing. It can be rather difficult to communicate the specifics of this culture to potential, and new, employees.

That's why we're creating an internal wiki.

Our website illustrates the personality of our work, our relationship with our clients and the professional side of our people to the outside world. Our traffic system is the 1's and 0's behind the smooth operation of the agency.

The wiki is a totally different animal - accessible only to those in the CM club. It's the headquarters of information more along the lines of stories from our past company trips (the wiki doesn't observe the cone of silence, unfortunately), who's who in CM lore and the unabashed history of how CM rose to its position as the Leading Interactive Agency in Louisville.

Of course, the wiki is entirely composed by CurrentMarketing employees, which is what makes it such a special body of work. We have to be careful about our blog lest any innocent ears stumble upon it. But, if you have access to the wiki, your innocence is virtually lost anyhow because you've already come into contact with the likes of Dennis Bonifer, Rob Womack and Kati Parrish. Once you've seen that Nam-style action, you're done. You may as well succumb and read the wiki ... but only if you're in the club.