I'm baaaaaaack!

Miss me? Miss me? Huh? Huh?

What's on the floor?

It's cool & slippery. A slip & slide?

For me? For me?

Ooooops! I watered it.

Y not?

Y banner.

Uh-oh. My bad. Mom's mad.

It looked like grass.

The kid was cute & splashing

Y not?

I decided a long time ago that if I were ever in charge of a group of people, I would not treat them the way that many of my bosses treated me. The early days of my career as a graphic artist were spent chained to an art table cranking out production work-as fast as my fingers could cut and paste it together. My bosses were notorious for over promising delivery dates so they could get the project. "Sure, we can have that four-color brochure for you by week's end" and it was Monday and it had to be designed, written, type spec'd and pasted together. Then proofed and corrections made before it could go to a printer. It made for some very long days and even longer nights. I would go home at 11pm and be back at 7am, pizza for lunch and dinner and no exercise or life outside of my job. I was lucky to have a 2-day weekend. And I was rarely thanked or told that I was doing a good job. The 2am press approvals didn't buy me any "trade" time either. I was expected to suck it up and come in no matter how long I had worked the day and night before. It resembled what it must have felt like to work in a sweat factory, without the heat.

Today, I get to care for the creative team here at Current and I know the time I make to say "thank you" and "great work" goes a long way. You see in the ad business, people tend to move from shop to shop. They often live in a combative environment and get fed up and move on. There's an enormous cost associated with turnover and as a business owner it is much easier to retain a great employee than train a new one. And each creative is assigned a book of business so they gather and retain quite a bit of knowledge for the clients and industries they work on. It takes a long time to get a newbie up to speed and producing work that's on target and consistent with the brand strategy.

And it's more than just expressing our appreciation. We have company lunches a few times per month, we play volleyball together, we have fun employee meetings where we play games and openly share our operating numbers so that everyone in our company knows how we are doing. We send people to seminars and classes, we pay for them to be members of clubs and networks. We participate in several Kentucky Derby Festival events like the Run for the Rosé and The Bed Races. We have "partner days" every summer where everyone is given every other Friday off so they can enjoy some 3-day weekends with their friends and families. We have fabulous prizes at our kickass Christmas party each year. We play hard-- when time allows -- because we work hard.

And how do we manage all of this and have fun too? We have a full-time traffic person and the best ad agency software system, CurrentTrack, that allows us to plan our work so people can go home at a decent hour every night and have a life balance that keeps them and their families very happy.

And when you have happy, healthy employees, the work they produce is better.

I'm in a haze as I sit down in Colleen Doyle's office. The weather outside is beautiful, but pollen or something in the air is clouding my ability to hold a thought for more than a few moments. Colleen is very gracious as I ramble on, and we talk a bit about our backgrounds. Suddenly, I realize who she is. She is my doppelganger; we have both lived in Dallas, we have both lived on the west coast, we both have brown hair.

Colleen: We're both totally awesome! (laughs)
CM: (laughs) Yeah.

Colleen: OK, I got to go soon, so...
CM: Yeah, OK. First question: What is your favorite website?
Colleen: I don't know...I mean I got rid of my computer. It was a crappy computer, so I got rid of it and I haven't gotten another one. It's been really nice. I mostly listen to records now.

CM: Really?
Colleen: Yeah, it's been nice. Hmm... I'd probably say allmusic.com. You can get info on artists and albums.

CM: Did your old computer die?
Colleen: No it was just really crappy. I got all my information off of it, but never got another one. It's in the trunk of my car (laughs). I'm probably going to get a laptop, but I just haven't done it yet. But allmusic.com, it's great if you want information on a band.

CM: OK, left, bottom or side? What's your favorite dock location?
Colleen: Dock location? As in boats?? (laughs incredulously).

CM: (laughing) No. You know, the dock. On your computer. Where your applications are?
Colleen: Oh (laughs). Uh, the bottom? I mean, I'd be happy to have access to a dock! (laughs) Yeah, the bottom. it's what I've always known.

CM: (still laughing) Ok. Ok. What dock icon do you click on the most?
Colleen: The Dashboard. God, I hope I don't sound stupid!

CM: No, no. I'm not being very clear. Wait, did you say the Dashboard?
Colleen: Yeah. I use the calculator, check the time, date, the temperature...

CM: Oh. What about CurrentTrack?
Colleen: Oh, I'm in the system all the time. And email.

CM: OK. Do you have a profile on Myspace, Facebook, Plaxo, etc.?
Colleen: MySpace and Facebook.

CM: Which do you use the most?
Colleen: MySpace. for the 'What's going on this weekend' aspect.

CM: What do you think about Facebook?
Colleen: I like it. It's a little more grown up. I have a foot in each camp. I have friends that are like "Hey, I have $10, let's go to Cahoots,"  and I have friends that are like "Hey, let's go to Jack Fry's."

CM: OK. Here's the last question. What's your problem?
Colleen: (laughs) Ha! Oh God...what's my problem!? Let's see... gotta think... my problem is with people who are not in touch with reality.

CM: NOT in touch?
Colleen: Yeah, you know, the ones who walk around like...zombies. The zombie nation, not present, in the moment? Not aware of what they do with their time? I just try to be present.

CM: Oh yeah, I hear you loud and clear. Let me tell you another boring story...

My doppelganger gently shoos me out of her office. Our recorded conversation is short, but the actual conversation has taken much longer. She is remarkably present and prepares to finish her day here, as I trudge back into the haze of another clear and beautiful spring day.

I know it's total self-promotion, but we are so enormously proud of our work with the Kentucky Derby Festival that I have to get in a plug for Velocity's coverage of our esteemed Allison Gibson, the Queen of all things KDF!

She and her husband are the top 2 Derby Heroes under 40 in this week's edition of the pub - way to go, Matt and Allison!

As you can tell from Alli's blog entry last week, our shop gets pretty consumed with wrapping up all of the ins and outs of marketing KDF so that Kentuckiana can party hardy before Derby! So, to have our company and one of our shining stars recognized like this is fantastic!

We have a unique culture at CurrentMarketing. It can be rather difficult to communicate the specifics of this culture to potential, and new, employees.

That's why we're creating an internal wiki.

Our website illustrates the personality of our work, our relationship with our clients and the professional side of our people to the outside world. Our traffic system is the 1's and 0's behind the smooth operation of the agency.

The wiki is a totally different animal - accessible only to those in the CM club. It's the headquarters of information more along the lines of stories from our past company trips (the wiki doesn't observe the cone of silence, unfortunately), who's who in CM lore and the unabashed history of how CM rose to its position as the Leading Interactive Agency in Louisville.

Of course, the wiki is entirely composed by CurrentMarketing employees, which is what makes it such a special body of work. We have to be careful about our blog lest any innocent ears stumble upon it. But, if you have access to the wiki, your innocence is virtually lost anyhow because you've already come into contact with the likes of Dennis Bonifer, Rob Womack and Kati Parrish. Once you've seen that Nam-style action, you're done. You may as well succumb and read the wiki ... but only if you're in the club.

Is it here? Is it? Is It?
Isit? I sit? What? I sit?
Treat? Good Dog.

It smelled like my kind of diaper.
It was small and wiggled a lot.
I didn't know what all the fuss was about…
And then I saw it.
They called it "baby."
They said, "Wyaaaaaaatt" and then "baby" and well, I just wanted to see it.
To smell it closer.
Everyone held it and I kept asking but they told me "down."

And then it left.

Please bring it back!

I ask Dennis every day to please bring it back!
I want to lick it's fingers and toes.
And clean up the slobber.

Please bring it back!

T-Minus two days and counting until Thunder Over Louisville, the largest annual fireworks show in North America and the opening ceremonies to the Kentucky Derby Festival.

CurrentMarketing is the agency of record for the Kentucky Derby Festival. With more than 70 events to promote, it can get kinda crazy within our agency. With three years of experience, here are our Top 10 tips for survival of this mayhem.

10) CurrentTrack - Without this phenomenal online agency management system, we would be lost. The archived projects and search feature allow for easy access to past projects. Task management is KEY to the workflow for the hundreds of projects we complete in the months leading up to May.

9) Traffic Manager- Behind every management system, there must be a STRONG traffic manager. We have the best traffic manager around, who knows our procedures and the CurrentTrack system front and back and back again. What is a traffic manager you ask? I don’t have time to answer this (did you not read that there are only three days until Thunder?!?!). So read up on it here. Get one.

8) Feed your Creatives
Feed, Feed, Feed your designers, hell all of your creative staff.
Candy, salty snacks, Diet Mountain Dew, whatever does the trick. This helps keep them glued to their seat and working hard at the task at hand. BONUS TIP: Keep the fluids to a minimum. Too many fluids causes extra potty breaks and that is 3-5 minutes of billable time.

7) Memorize
You must be able to retain information and recall it quickly. Boron helps your attention and memory. It is found in avocados, apples and nuts. Choline is another brain booster found in eggs and milk. Stock up.

6) Team Players
Have a team attitude. And Have a Great Team. Enough Said.
TIP: Creatives love after hours cocktails and more snacks.

5) Focus
We always try our best to clear our minds and FOCUS on all the many details of every project. If it means leaving the office with our laptop or locking ourselves in a closet, we do whatever it takes to stay focused.

4) Take Great Notes
To organize this many projects, you must take detailed notes.
From the initial concept to design to sending a file to the printer, notes are your essential to this process.

3) Ask Questions
No question is a dumb question, only if it does not get asked.
BONUS TIP: Write your questions down as you may forget to ask them later.

2) Reward your Team
We realize we are not in this alone and a pat on the back to your teammates -- candy, trophies and other prizes go a long way!

1) HAVE FUN!
Every job has its ups and downs, but we must make sure we enjoy what we do. We infuse FUN in it as much as we can!

It's been a long road, but we're finally here. It's time to crown a champion for March Adness.

In our first Final Four match-up we have:

3) Wendys’ "Where's the Beef?"
vs.
1) Volkswagen "Think Small"
The blue-haired powerhouse had finally met her match. And since I've said pretty much everything there is to say about the VW campaign, I'll take this opportunity to plug one of my favorite shows on TV these days, AMC's Mad Men. The show chronicles life on Madison Avenue in the "Golden Age" of advertising, the 1960's.  In the 3rd episode of the first season (Marriage of Figaro,) the aforementioned VW campaign gets a little shout-out as Don is flipping through Life Magazine and happens across the famous "Lemon" ad from the campaign. If you haven't seen Mad Men yet, check it out. In the wasteland of Reality TV and bad prime-time game shows, it's a hidden gem.

Winner: Volkswagen

In our second semifinal, we have:

1) Apple's  "1984"
vs.
4) Absolut "Bottle"
As much as I love the Absolut campaign, it is tough to match up with the genius of the "1984" spot. While the Big Brother spot was one of the most memorable in history, many people don't remember that there were at least two other computer companies running spots in that Super Bowl broadcast: Atari, featuring Alan Alda and Radio Shack, with The Incredible Hulk himself, Bill Bixby.

Winner: Apple

So it comes down to this. Somebody wake up Bill Packer because it is time to crown a
champion.

1) Apple's  "1984"
vs.
1) Volkswagen "Think Small"
While I appreciate what VW did for the subtle sell, Apple's ominous vision of the future of home computing made an incredibly strong impact. Another interesting tidbit about the campaign: Apple bought all of the advertising space (39 pages!) in the November/December special election issue of Newsweek to promote the Macintosh.

It is that kind of bold risk-taking with their image that makes Apple our 2008 March Adness Champion. And before we wrap up, check out this reprint of the story of the 1984 ad, as told by Owen Linzmayer in his book "The Mac Bathroom Reader." It's interesting stuff.

Alright folks, it's time to crank up "One Shining Moment," because I've got some serious celebrating to do. Not only have we crowned an Ad Champion , but Memphis took one on the chin this year and there is nothing a University of Louisville fan loves more than the tears of a Tiger. Those old Metro Conference rivalries don't just go away, you know

It's time to narrow the field to a Final Four and we've got a lot of ground to cover, so let's get started in the Food & Drink Region.

1) McDonald's "You Deserve a Break Today"
vs.
4) Coca-Cola "Have a Coke and a Smile"
This is a huge 2nd round match-up between two of the most recognizable advertisers in this field of 32. An interesting side note: 70s icon Barry Manilow didn't just write the songs that make the whole world sing. He also wrote the song that made the whole world buy cheeseburgers and won 2 Clio Awards in 1972 for his work with Tab and the famous "I am Stuck on Band-Aids" spots.

Winner: McDonald's

3) Wendys' "Where's the Beef?"
vs.
7) California Milk Processor Board "Got Milk?"
Both of these campaigns have gained a foothold in the public consciousness, but when your catch phrase plays a part in presidential politics, you have taken advertising to another level. During the 1984 Democratic primaries, Democratic candidate and former Vice President Walter Mondale ridiculed the candidacy of  Senator Gary Hart, by using the phrase during a March 11, 1984 televised debate. Hart focused his campaign around the phrase "new ideas." When Hart used the slogan in the debate, Mondale responded by saying, "When I hear your new ideas, I'm reminded of that ad, 'Where's the beef?".

Winner: Mondale won the nomination and Wendy's wins this round.

So in the Regional Finals we have are:

1) McDonalds
vs.
3) Wendy's
Clara Peller became a media sensation, making appearances on Saturday Night Live (4-14-84), and Wrestlemania 2. Becoming a cultural zeitgeist is more than any client could ask for and Dancer-Fitzgerald-Sample delivered just that to Wendy's.

Regional Winner: Wendy's

Transportation Region:
1) Volkswagen "Think Small"
vs.
5) Avis "We Try Harder"
The classic Doyle Dane Bernbach campaign "Think Small" is still taught in advertising classrooms around the world. If you get a chance, check out Frank Rowsome's book about the campaign. It's out of print, but you might find it in a used bookstore or on ebay.

Winner: Volkswagen in a rout.

3) Isuzu "Joe Isuzu"
vs.
2) Chevrolet "See the USA in your Chevrolet"
As funny as Della Famina, Travisano & Partners' Joe Isuzu was, it just doesn't hold up to the Campbell-Ewald jingle from the 1950s. I you get a chance, check out Jerry Della Famina's book, "From Those Wonderful Folks Who Gave You Pearl Harbor." It's a collection of "war stories" from one of the most outspoken members of the advertising community. (The title came from a brainstorming session for the client Panasonic.)

Winner: Chevrolet

Regional Finals:
1) Volkswagen "Think Small"
vs.
2) Chevrolet "See the USA in your Chevrolet"
Dinah Shore will only take you so far. DDB made a small, noisy, uncomfortable car produced in a factory built by the Nazis appealing to the American consumer. I'm not sure there is a taller order in advertising history.

Regional Winner: Volkswagen

Let's head out to Vegas for the Sinful Products Region where we have:

1) The Marlboro Man
vs.
4) Absolut Bottle
The irony of multiple Marlboro Men dying of lung related diseases is not lost on me (thanks Rob), and while Absolut has recently changed their campaign, the "Bottle" ads succeeded in making a tasteless, odorless liquor a tasty option when pulling up a barstool.

Winner: Absolut

2) Winston Tastes Good Like a Cigarette Should
vs
3) Miller Lite Taste Great- Less Filling
It is hard to get past using the Flintstones as cigarette shills and the Miller Lite ads still make me laugh, even if I did have to explain to my wife who Boog Powell was.

Winner: Miller Lite gets a seat in the front Row.

Regional Finals:
3) Miller Lite Taste Great- Less Filling
vs.
4) Absolut Bottle
The vodka giant is just too strong for Ueke and the boys. As much as I enjoy those Miller spots, there isn't a coffee table books with Billy Martin and Bubba Smith on the cover. (But the minute there is one, I'm placing my order.)

Winner: Absolut takes a spot at the Final Four.

On a side note: Absolut recently ran into a bit of bad PR with their Latin "In an Absolute World" campaign. In fact, there was such an outcry from north of the border that Absolut actually had to run an explanation on their web site.   I'm guessing much of the outcry came from folks with a limited grasp of American history and an even more limited sense of humor.

And last, but not least, the Consumer Products Region:

1) Apple – "1984"
vs.
4) Timex "Takes a Licking"
While "Takes a licking and keeps on ticking" is a clever line, the Apple spot was cinematic in scale. And it should have been, as it was directed by Ridley Scott, who had just come off filming Blade Runner and Alien.

Winner: Apple by a mile.

2) Nike - Just Do It
vs.
6) Energizer – "The Energizer Bunny keeps going and going and …"
Even the Energizer Bunny finally runs out of steam and trying to stop the Nike juggernaut is just too tall an order.  Like Mars Blackmon said, "It's gotta be the shoes."

Winner: Nike just does it again.

Regional final:

1) Apple – "1984"
vs.
2) Nike - Just Do It
Maybe I'm just a computer geek, but I'd rather be like Woz than like Mike. What many people didn't know about the 1984 spot is that it was very nearly axed by Apple's board of Directors, who ordered the ad scrapped and the time slot in the Super Bowl sold.

Winner: Even 24 years later, Apple's spot is still amazing.

So there you have it… our Final Four.  Wendy's vs. Volkswagen and Absolut vs. Apple. Check back tomorrow and we'll crown a champion. And, as always, if you have thoughts, leave a comment or drop me a line at jimdoesntcarewhatyouthink@yahoo.com.

People around here probably don't realize how much I notice. Everyone in this place seems to go in the same spot. Whenever they walk through that door, I swear they're never coming out. I smell hot dogs. I usually look for someplace unique. Like Luke's desk. But he gets all angry. Where's my bone? I'd prefer the carpet. Mom gets mad, it becomes a huge thing and I end up a bad dog. The courtyard works. A lot of stuff to dig out there. And a few spots under the Chinese Chestnut. Have you smelled the tree in May? I hear it runs most people out of the courtyard. Makes me think of kitty litter. I can't wait.